We’ve all been there. You need to feed your breastfed baby a bottle but they’re refusing to take it. Nothing says ‘stressful’ like the scream of a hungry baby that just won’t cooperate.
You’ve probably already googled it and tried everything that people are suggesting, like:
- Leaving the room while someone else tries to feed the baby so they don’t smell your milk
- A million different types of bottles and flow rates (Pigeon wide neck is the best btw)
- Distracting the baby with music or toys or the TV
- Starting with breastfeeding then sneaking the bottle in as you remove your nipple
- Different temperatures of milk
- Trying to give the bottle straight after a nap or waiting a while till they’re hungrier
- Different positions or moving around while they feed
- Wrapping the bottle in your shirt so it smells like you
I have been in this exact position. I tried everything and nothing worked, but I needed our 5 month old to take a bottle for upcoming babysitting that needed to happen (wedding season, IYKYK).
Step by step process of getting our bottle refusing baby to take a bottle:
Firstly, I took a big step back and stopped trying for a few days. I needed to give her time to forget about it and reset. Then, I essentially treated introducing a bottle with the same ethos as the ‘baby led weaning’ approach to starting solids – i.e. no pressure to take it, let her explore, slowly introduce and increase intake as she responds well. It looked a little something like this:
- Show your baby the teat of the bottle. Hold it up in front of them, inspect it yourself and make it seem like you’re very interested in it. Even suck on the teat yourself. If they seem interested, offer it to them to do the same – let them look at it and touch it (if they want to). Let them explore it without any pressure to suck on it – but if they happen to put it in their mouth then great!
- When they seem comfortable with this (which might happen straight away or could take a few days), do the same with the whole bottle – keep it empty at this stage! Hold the bottle in front of them and see if they go to grab it. If they don’t, that’s ok – do not pressure them. This is a very important element of this approach, you want them to feel in control and like touching the bottle is THEIR idea. Same as above, if they hold it – great! If they suck on it – even better. Any positive exposure to it is a step in the right direction.
- Once they seem comfortable with the empty bottle itself, start introducing a very small amount of milk in it (do not waste your milk by filling the bottle, you don’t want to look devastated if they reject it, so it’s best to keep that pressure off). As above, let them explore the bottle with no pressure to suck or drink from it.
Now this was the game changer for me – while they are exploring that bottle (either holding it themselves or looking at it while you hold it), have another bottle in your other hand and suck on the teat to show them how to drink from the bottle. Exaggerate this action and make delighted sounds – remember, they learn by mimicking us. Will you look like a bit of an idiot doing it? Highly likely, yes. But whatever works, hey.
- If, at this stage, they are putting the teat in their mouth and trying to drink the milk from it then you are ready for the next stage – actually feeding them a decent amount from the bottle. The key here is to keep the same ‘no pressure’ approach, so if at any time they seem distressed or don’t want to drink, then stop. Do not try and force the bottle in as you will set yourself back – go back to step 3 if they don’t want to drink. If they are happy to try and drink, pick a time of the day that they seem most compliant – for us, it was the first feed in the morning when she still had that sleepy haze and was hungry enough to accept it. We also found that she preferred the milk to be very very VERY warm (so warm that I thought it might have been too hot), so play around with the milk temperature too.
- Once they have taken that first feed, continue feeding them once a day at that exact same time of day before trying any other time of day. So, for example, if the morning feed worked then feed them the bottle first thing in the morning for a few days or up to a week before trying any other time. Make sure you do not skip a day! Repeated exposure is key.
- When you’re confident the feed is going well, you can start trying at other times of the day too.
There is no perfect timeline when following the steps above. It might take your baby a few days overall or a few weeks before they’re happy to take the bottle. If time isn’t on your side then you can try and compress it by repeating each step a few times a day. I found that the main thing was consistent, pressure free, exposure. If at any stage your baby gets distressed or is not interested, then stop and try again later. The last thing you want to do is create a negative association.
Remember, keep calm, cool and collected (I know, easier said than done) – but they really do feed off our emotions and sense our stress. Side note: did you know that communication is 55% body language, 38% tone of voice and only 7% spoken words?! No wonder why babies understand more than we realise!!
So, pick up that bottle and suck on it in front of them to your heart’s content, the more they see you do it, the more they will want to copy. You’ve got this!!